I do not hide that I am in love. I’ve known I was in love for just under ten months, and I’m loved back. Of that I am sure.
Jamie is the man I want to marry. I want forever with him, and it’s terrifying but oh so exciting to imagine that forever with him. We’ve been together for ten months, but I am so sure of our relationship. I’ve never felt like this with someone. I’ve never fallen so hard or so fast or felt so right or comfortable to be with someone. I miss him every moment I’m not with him, and smile and laugh every moment I am.
But this year is going to be endless. It’s going to be tough and I’m sure there’ll be many tears. There already have been. Being 6000 miles away from the one you love and relying on skype and whatsapp messages rather than physical affection is difficult. I love kisses and cuddles and not being able to have them is making things difficult. Long distance is already a struggle for both of us, but we’re positive we will make this work. Getting through this will just make us stronger. A message per day at least and a skype call once a week at least are our rules, though we’re sure to do more given the chance.
It’s also difficult because he’s a major part of my support network. He’s been there through thick and thin this year. He’s seen me at my worst and he’s sheltered me from pain so many times. He can calm me down by holding me, and he’s just there always. Being away from him is difficult for me, and terrifying for him concerning my mental health. It’s horribly scary but I love him so much.
Loving someone with depression can’t be easy, and nothing will ever show how grateful I am to him for saving my life every single day. All I can do is love him without boundaries, and hope that will some day be enough.
-Vicky
P.S. I know I’ve posted a lot today, or what seems a lot to me, but I needed to get this out, it was really running through my brain and I couldn’t concentrate on anything else.
Navigating My Mind 